I remember my mother always telling me that I had way too many friends, as opposed to my two brothers. She didn’t comment on this in the best way always as it simply meant more distractions for me and time away from her. That was her point of view.
In retrospect, I did have an unbelievably large circle of friends in my early years. Friends from school, college, various coaching classes and office pals at a later stage… the list was truly endless!!!
I often wonder where all those people have disappeared and, more importantly, what are they up to now. Yes. We aren’t connected anymore. Our friendships were honest, special and were meant to last an eternity. We had promised we would never let go. We had cried our eyes out whenever one of us had to leave the city or country. We had planned how we’d stay connected and be friends forever. It was all chalked out. We meant it when we said it.
Forever. A huge word. An unrealistic commitment. Other than diamonds, maybe nothing really is forever. Even for the diamonds, I have to take James Bond’s word. I sincerely tried staying connected with some friends, but it didn’t work. I was blatantly indifferent towards the absence of others. Some tried staying connected with me and I couldn’t care less. What went wrong??? These were the same people without whom I could not get by a single day. Today, some of them are mere acquaintances and most of them are out of my life.
Were they bad? Was I bad? Was I wronged? Did I wrong them?
With every new phase of my life, my “most important” people changed. Nothing was wrong with either of us. We grew differently as individuals. Our perspectives changed. We did not grow apart. We grew. People evolve and change all the time. Nothing wrong with that. I am happy to unabashedly admit that after a point, I couldn’t bear to be with some of these old friends. I’m certain some felt the same way about me, too. I changed. They did, too. I gracefully accept that. With many, I tried keeping a facade for way too long. But eventually, what’s fake is fake and does give away sooner or later. It better be sooner than later, but at times we refuse to see it coming.
Distance also comes in the way of many relations. For me, it is an excuse of the weak. My closest pals today are not in the same place as I am. Nonetheless, our bond has strengthened over time. A few of them have known me for over a decade. Some of them have been with me for a time lesser than that. A few are more recent. I hope I go a long way with some and I know there will be some whom I will decidedly shun.
To anyone who reads this:
Don’t feel bad if a friend has distanced away from you. Don’t feel guilty if you did the same. At the end of the day, we all have a knack of finding our kindred souls and sticking with them. I have found mine. I wish the same for you. Not every friendship has to last a lifetime and, more often than not, letting go is the best you can do!
Comments